im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
