fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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