is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
