my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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