Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Mom said you looked used
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
