to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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