Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
