ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
