cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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