why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
