Sry I called you an 8
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
