is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
