I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
