Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
