White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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