I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
