Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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