i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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