the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
