He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
