If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
