Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
