We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
