Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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