Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
