Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
