I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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