nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Watching her eat just hurts me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
