Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
