Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
