in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
