Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
