My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
