why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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