I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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