okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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