holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
