White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
