Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is the high leading the old right now
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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