you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
