Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
