Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
