idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
