i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
