I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
