the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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