For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
