At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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