Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
