Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
